White Sox righthander Jake Peavy, out for the season since July with a detached latissimus dorsi muscle, made a surprise public appearance this when he scheduled a press conference outside of a Waffle House in his native Mobile, Ala.

The former Cy Young winner made an impassioned speech to the American people, urging them to set aside their differences and join his upstart Sweet Tea Party.

“It’s time to stand up and tell the world that we stand for what our fathers and their fathers and probably the Founding Fathers stood for, and that’s that sweet tea is delicious,” Peavy said, on the verge of tears.

“I want all of us to go back to where I was on 9/12, two Sundays ago, when I was at this Waffle House,” he said. “We need to stand by the values that make America great, and at just over a buck and change, with free refills, Alice’s Iced Tea has to be just about America’s greatest value.”

As the American political debate becomes increasingly partisan, Peavy noted that the Sweet Tea Party could be the perfect movement to bring people together.

“Think about the Boston Tea Party,” he said. “Now, that was a great event in our history, but imagine if instead of throwing all that tea into salty water, why not throw some sugar in it? I think we can all agree that sweet tea is better than salty tea. So let’s just start from there.”

By David Dexter