Helping to perhaps fulfill the Cubs’ prophecy that he will manage them, Yankees manager Joe Girardi is being pushed out the door by the Bombers because they are tired of him.

“Joe is boring,” said Yankees GM Brian Cashman. “It’s just win, win, win with him. We want the roller coaster of our ’70s Bronx Zoo teams under Billy Martin. That’s where Mike Quade comes in.”

Since taking over the Cubs, Quade has the team playing near-.700 ball and Cashman said Quade resembles Mr. Clean, “a real SOB.”

“Mike’s going to wear an earring and stand outside the dugout with arms folded and smile, nodding occasionally,” said Cashman. “Intimidation is the key to winning.”

Cubs GM Jim Hendry said he’s undeterred by the Yankees’ attempt to hire Quade and that he’s been planning on hiring Girardi for quite some time.

“There’s been all sorts of speculation on who the next manager of the Cubs will be,” said Hendry. “And sure, Mike’s got our team playing great ball since taking over, but let’s be honest. Big Jim Hendry is all about making a splash and that’s what I’m going to do when I sign Joe Girardi to a 15-year $150 million contract the day after the Yankees get swept out of the first round of the playoffs.”

From the soon-to-be-released September 2010 issue by Rob C. Christiansen