In the near future, Clark Street near Wrigley Field may have a distinctly different look as old standbys like Goose Island Brewery and Salt & Pepper Diner are leveled for a new retail complex that was recently approved.

The center will feature a hotel, large grocery chain, a Best Buy, and after much grappling with the Chicago Plan Commission, a Cubs Hall of Fame, to be housed in a three-foot by three-foot broom closet located in the basement of the new development.

Cubs Chairman Crane Kenney was elated by the news.

“It’s insane to think a franchise as old as ours doesn’t have a Hall of Fame, but frankly, I figured 102 years of futility would easily fit into a Cracker Jack box,” said Kenney. “We got an entire closet. This is the steal of the century.”

Among the items expected to be showcased in the Hall of Fame are Ron Santo’s black cat (stuffed), Sammy Sosa’s infamous corked bat, Flintstone vitamins and smashed boombox, Mark Grace’s not-so-little black book, a copy of the modest contract offered to Cy Young-winner Greg Maddux in 1992 by the Braves that the Cubs refused to match, a bleacher ticket stub so old it has a face value less than $50, Leon Durham’s Gatorade-soaked glove, Carlos Zambrano’s straitjacket, and Mel Rojas.

The Cubs organization will keep admission costs affordable, assured Kenney.

“This will be a Smithsonian-esque museum, albeit in a small package,” he said. “A family of four can enjoy a yearlong pass to the full interactive experience for a mere $5,000 donation to Cubs Care.”

From the July 2010 issue by Jeremy Barewin. Click here to subscribe today!