Nobody is quite sure how they got into Cubs misfit Carlos Zambrano’s head this time, but he’s apparently taken to a new lifestyle. And he’s bringing it onto the field.

During Big Z’s first comeback outing in Arizona, he was observed going through a routine that included a bit of feng shui in the locker room and some brief meditative breathing on the mound. He then got into the lotus position and tossed a few warm-up pitches.

“I’ve been telling him to clear his mind for years,” said Cubs pitching coach Larry Rothschild. “But man, he’s really somewhere else. When I asked Z what pitch he was going to work on first, he said something about letting ‘the winds’ carry the ball.”

It is unclear how Zambrano will manage to pitch strikes with his eyes closed. However, management is more concerned if he’ll get enough potassium into his system on a tofu diet.

By Dan Bradley