As the Cubs head to Wisconsin this weekend, they’ll face Brewers outfielder Ryan Braun who recently unveiled a line of T-shirts that — while spectacularly silly and overpriced — is selling well and is the classiest thing to come out of Milwaukee in years.

Braun’s T-shirts, developed in partnership with Affliction Clothing, have been a surprise hit, thanks in large part to an effective 30-second TV spot that’s airing nationwide.

“‘Sup, dudes, it’s me, Ryan Braun AKA the Hebrew Hammer,” he says at the beginning of the commercial. “I know what you’re thinking. How can I have a bunch of hot chicks ridin’ my jock all the time like you do? I’ll tell you: Get a few of my T-shirts. They’ve got tigers and samurai warriors and [expletive deleted] that’ll have honeys beggin’.”

“I know what else you’re thinking,” he adds. “Why should I pay $80 to look like I’m poor and uneducated? You know what I say? To hell with all that noise. You wanna be a baller? You gotta spend like a baller. Now, go punch this recession right in the nuts and order some T-shirts. Like, right now, bro.”

From The Heckler’s April 2010 issue by Brian Summerfield. Click here to subscribe today!

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