After partying in a suite with teammates during the Blackhawks loss to Nashville Friday night, both Alfonso Soriano and and Geovany Soto tried to call in sick for Saturday’s 12:05 game at Wrigley against the Astros.

“Soriano called this morning with a cough that sounded faker than him saying he’ll bounce back and hit .300 and 30 home runs this year,” said skipper Lou Piniella, who wasn’t buying it. “There was reggae music playing and I heard people laughing in the background. Hell, at least he called. Soto sent me a text message saying he wasn’t going to make it in today.”

Pinella demanded his players get to the park.

“Get those guys out here!” he shouted. “We’ve got our eyes on the Wild Card and if they’re getting paid, we need them to at least show up to the games.”

By Tim Barb