Taking a cue from the Cubs ticket office’s recent decision to sell single-game tickets at a 20 percent mark-up ahead of the general start of ticket sales, Old Style vendors at Wrigley are discussing a similar strategy to maximize their profits.

“Draft beers will prolly be like $7 or $7.25 this year,” said one long-time vendor, who requested anonymity because his old lady down by the SRO hotel thinks he’s unemployed and he wants to keep it that way. “So, when the lines are long — Sox games, Cards games, Brewers games, days when Soriano is takin’ an oh-fer — heck, why not just let guys wavin’ $20 bills cut to the front and get their two-beer limit ahead of the loser just gettin’ one, and wantin’ change from his singles? It’s just simple economics. And if it works for the big boys, why not us?”

When asked what demographic he expects to take advantage of this fully-krausened opportunity, the vendor said, “You know the kind. Guys wit’ the sunglasses on the back of their heads so you can’t tell if they’re comin’ or goin’. Guys tryin’ to impress some chick. Guys with those Notre Dame leprechaun tattoos.”

Before leaving to get breakfast at the L & L, the vendor argued that this apparent greed is actually a generous gesture on the part of the vending community.

“Y’know, we’ll be doing’ security and sober or moderate-drinkin’ fans a favor: these jamochs will be so stewed by the fift’ inning that they’ll either pass out or get thrown out when they start brawlin’. Then the lines’ll be shorter for everyone.”

By Bill Savage