In the wake of Mark McGwire’s revelation he used steroids for more than a decade, baseball commissioner Bud Selig announced a refund program for fans swept up in the late-’90s home run craze in which McGwire was a central figure.

“We wanted to do what was right for once,” said Selig. “I, like the rest of the nation, was tricked into believing 1998’s historic home run race was the battle of two noble men for a place in history. Now it turns out it was just a big scam and I, like the rest of the nation, feel ripped off and am mad as hell about it.”

Named “Cash for Cheaters,” the plan reimburses any fan who attended a Major League game in 1998 while McGwire and fellow steroid user Sammy Sosa battled for baseball’s nearly 40-year-old home run record previously held by Roger Maris.

“Now that the Steroid Era I never admitted was happening is long over, it’s time to move on,” said Selig. “Just bring a ticket stub from 1998 to any park this Opening Day and you can have your choice of a ticket to that day’s game or a full refund for what you paid for the ticket in 1998. If the guy at the gate looks at you funny, just tell him Uncle Bud sent ya.”

By Brad Zibung