Always looking to hone his craft, Cubs broadcaster Len Kasper spent the majority of October pouring over last season’s game tape, targeting areas of improvement for 2010.

“The first thing I noticed was that my voice tends to crack when I get excited,” said Kasper. “I can’t do anything about that, but I can improve my lily white complexion, hopefully providing fans a better overall game experience since they won’t have to shield their eyes anytime Bob [Brenly] and I appear on screen for in-game commentary.”

Added Kasper: “Assuming Bob also shaves his mustache, we might be able to give viewers a whole new look next year.”

To achieve a more “TV-friendly appearance,” the affable Kasper turned to a suburban tanning salon for advice.

“I told him we could fix that in one session,” said Emily Wendell, 19, the assistant manager at a salon in Glenview. “A half hour later he came out of the spray booth looking totally hot. I was even able to look at him without sunglasses!”

Orange isn’t the only color Kasper has considered bringing with him into the 2010 season.

“I’ve also pondered dyeing my hair jet black,” he said. “But Bob’s already jealous enough that I have hair to begin with, so I might hold off on that one until he gets a toupee or something.”

From the November 2009 issue by George Ellis

hecklerbrad