While the Cubs were being steam-rolled by the defending champion Phillies at Wrigley Field Wednesday night, one fan decided to take things into his own hands and tossed a beer at Philly OF Shane Victorino as he hauled in a deep fly ball in the fifth inning. While Victorino, fans of the game and nerdy sports bloggers were upset by the incident, the guilty fan insisted the Phillies center fielder “had it coming.”

“That guy is such a jerk. He had it coming,” said Thomas Plainfeld, the beer-tossing fan. “He already had a homer and triple in the game, he won the World Series last year and he wears one of those stupid double-flapped batting helmets. See what I mean? Total jerk.”

While Plainfeld escaped the game without being arrested, the Cubs and Chicago Police Department are asking fellow fans to help turn him in.

“While we agree that Victorino definitely deserved to get a beer thrown on him, we can’t tolerate abusive behavior by our fans,” said Cubs President Crane Kenney after the Cubs 12-5 loss. “Otherwise we’re no better than Phillies fans, minus the championship, of course.”

By Brad Zibung, founder and editor in chief