When news broke of Patrick Kane’s arrest for beating up a Buffalo cab driver over 20 cents, most people familiar with Chicago sports were shocked and dismayed by the young Hawk’s reckless, out-of-character behavior.

“Not me,” said teammate Adam Burish. “First thing I thought was ‘Finally, the kid popped his cherry.’ But he really should have waited for me just in case other cab drivers tried to retaliate.”

Upon hearing the news, Burish immediately hopped on a flight to Buffalo, Kane’s hometown, to make sure the next time Kane gets in a dust-up, he has some much-needed muscle with him.

“Plus, I just like busting heads,” said Burish. “The off-season is very hard on me. I end up taking most of my aggression out on friends, family and wildlife.”

By George Ellis, managing editor

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