News broke Monday that the pending Chicago Cubs sale has finally closed and should become official by next month, Observers wondered what would prompt the new owner to spend nearly $1 billion on a team with the longest championship drought in professional American sports.

“Sure, $900 million is a lot of money for a baseball team that hasn’t won a championship since 1908, but I guess you could say I’m kind of a sucker for losers,” said the Cubs pending new owner Tom Ricketts. “I have a collection of Edsels and still proudly display my now-worthless Enron stock above my fireplace.”

Ricketts said that if his bid to purchase the Cubs falls through, he will attempt to buy equally ineffective franchises like the Detroit Lions, Los Angeles Clippers or even the Washington Generals.