Redeems himself after failing to snap bat in half the night before

It’s safe to say that the Milton Bradley Experiment so far has been a downright and utter disaster. A rash of injuries, forgetting how many outs there were in an inning and tossing the ball into the stands, and overall putrid productivity at the plate have plagued GM Jim Hendry’s $30 million off-season investment. Bradley embarrassed himself and the Cubs organization once more on Wednesday night, when he attempted to snap his bat in two over his knee following a ninth inning strikeout, and failed.

“Damn, it looks so easy when Big Z snaps his bat in half like it’s a toothpick,” said Bradley following the game. “I hurt my knee pretty bad with that stunt and will probably be out of the lineup for at least the next two months. Damn!”

Bradley did redeem himself before Thursday’s tilt in Detroit by taking a small twig from a juniper bush outside of Comerica Field, and snapping it into two pieces in the Cubs locker room. Several teammates were surprised at his feat of strength.

“Usually Milton can’t run to first without tweaking his hammy,” said a shocked Ryan Dempster. “He really showed that little twig who’s boss.”

Notes: In case anyone still cares, the Tigers completed their sweep of the hapless Cubs on Thursday afternoon, 6-5. On a good note, Carlos Marmol did not issue any walks nor did Kevin Gregg serve up any 500-foot bombs. Of course neither pitched in the game, but who’s really keeping track anyway.

By Jeremy Barewin