Colts quarterback Peyton Manning has appeared in his share of television ads. Working as a pitchman for such corporations as Sprint, ESPN and MasterCard, the perennial All-Pro’s likeness can be seen everywhere.

Manning’s fame is so ubiquitous that other well-known pitchmen are refusing to co-star with him. One such advertising legendis the deceased popcorn tycoon and Indiana native Orville Redenbacher.

“Like the rest of America, I’m just sick of seeing the guy on TV every five minutes,” said a computer-generated version of Redenbacher, who passed away in 1995, but continues to appear in TV ads. “At first I thought Peyton had some skills as a pitchman, now I just think he has a big ego.”

DirecTV approached both parties with an idea to promote its NFL Sunday Ticket package. The script called for Manning to say the sports subscription was a great way to watch “everybody’s favorite, Peyton Manning.” Redenbacher would then counter with, “Or you could watch his brother, Eli. Just make sure you’re cuddled up with a bowl of some of my famous popcorn.”

Redenbacher ultimately decided it would be in the quarterback’s best interest to avoid making another commercial.

“I think it’s about time Peyton focuses less on the TV ads and more on winning the big game.”

heckler editorial staff