Chicago Mayor Richard Daley has declared all city ordinances invalid for the remaining duration of the Bears postseason.

The free-for-all was adopted by a majority aldermen vote when the team clinched its playoff spot, but it wasn’t enacted until after Sunday’s victory over the New Orleans Saints because of skepticism, according the City Council.

Daley, whose Mayoral Ordinance came in the form of an Emergency Alert System broadcast sent to homes as far as Kankakee County immediately following the game, said policing even the most serious crimes would take a backseat to the team’s Super Bowl run.

“If you want to go out and eat stretched duck liver, for example,” the mayor said, referring to foie gras, the controversial cuisine council members last April voted to ban from being sold in city restaurants. “I’m sure it’s still on the menus anyway.”

Harrison Area Det. Lt. Jarvis Bratley said he gave his entire team of homicide investigators Super Bowl Sunday off because “even murderers will have their eyes glued to the TV set.”

“And they’ll be too emotionally drained to do anything afterward, no matter what the outcome is,” said Bratley.


heckler editorial staff