Already elated Bears fans received more great news Tuesday as Judge Todd Swerski granted troubled Bears DT Tank Johnson a work release, allowing him to play in Super Bowl XLI. Judge Swerski, sporting the classic “Superfan” ‘stache, in his blue and orange robe, 1985 Championship cap and dark glasses, told Johnson he had “better bring home dat trophy.”

Johnson was placed on house arrest last month after authorities confiscated numerous guns and ammunition at his home. At the time, it seemed there was little chance he would be allowed to travel with the team should it qualify for the trip to Miami.

“The big break came when we found out Superfan Swerski was on the bench.” Johnson’s attorney Lorna Propes said. “I promised him tickets for the Super Bowl and free Polish sausages for the entire game.”

Judge Swerski makes it no secret what NFL team he supports. His courtroom is littered with ’85 memorabilia, Mike Ditka autographed pictures and a bust of “Papa Bear” George Halas.  Even his gavel is engraved with a small Bears “C” logo.

“My good man, how can I deny a player from a team dat has brought dis city its first Super Bowl appearance since 1985?” Judge Swerski admired Johnson as he raised his glass of water. “Da Beeaarrssssss!!”

heckler editorial staff