The Bears’ decisive 39-14 victory in the NFC Championship allowed sold-out Soldier Field to practice one of Chicago’s favorite traditions, the singing of “Bear Down, Chicago Bears.” Unfortunately for fan Joe Spina, the song has become so engrained in his head he now fears for his sanity.

“The song is played over the loud speaker every time the Bears score,” said Spina. “Every field goal, every safety, every touchdown. During the game it seemed like harmless fun, but today I’m starting to get a little worried.”

Spina began his Monday morning harmlessly humming the Bears tune. He and his wife, Bridget, even shared a laugh when he asked her to make his morning coffee, “with a might so fearlessly.” Little did the couple know Spina’s condition was no laughing matter.

Upon arriving at work, Spina, a mortgage consultant at the Vernon Hills Bank One, predicted his success at the weekly Monday morning meeting as, “I’m going to let the tellers know why I’m wearing the crown.”

Bridget first detected a problem when she called Joe during his lunch break to remind him to bring home a new set of checks.

“He told me, “Who can forget the way you thrilled the nation, with your request for extra checks?” said Bridget. “I told him it wasn’t funny anymore, but I sensed he wasn’t kidding.”

Tara Foley, an administrator at the Chicago Center for Personal Development, claims Spina’s condition is not unusual.

“Any Bears fan present at Sunday’s game is encouraged to speak with someone before the overexposure to the song becomes a problem,” she said. “I haven’t seen anything this bad since the 1985 Super Bowl Shuffle Epidemic.”

As for Spina, he was last seen Tuesday morning, singing ‘Bear Down’ in the neighbor’s yard while wearing nothing but a Bears winter hat.

heckler editorial staff