After Detroit Lions wide receiver Roy Williams made his infamous guarantee of victory against the Bears in Week 2, no other team has wanted to give them more bulletin board material for fear of a similar beatdown.

As a result, the Bears have had to look to other avenues of inspiration.

“If no one else is going to be an idiot like Roy Williams,” said linebacker Brian Urlacher, “I say let’s win this one for Miss October instead!”

The team leader then posted up photos of Miss October from the new issue of “Playboy” and gave out a copy of the magazine to each of his teammates, hoping to stir motivation.
“As long as other teams are quiet, it’s hard to find a good quote for our bulletin boards,” said Urlacher. “I figure, if we can’t use words to inspire us, why not some hot naked chicks?”

His teammates are in favor of Urlacher’s motivational techniques.

“Whenever I get down on the field after throwing a bad interception, I can just think about Miss October’s 38DDs and get fired up again,” said quarterback Rex Grossman. “I can only imagine we’d have lost at Minnesota if it wasn’t for the beautiful backside on Miss September.”

heckler editorial staff