Dusty Baker and George Bush seem to have a lot of obvious common traits, but perhaps the strongest is their affinity for nonsensical nicknames.

For six months, Cubs fans have been trying to figure out exactly why Baker insists on calling Freddy Bynum “Boom Boom.” After all, Bynum has a .256 average and 46 strikeouts in 139 at bats.

“I was thinking a better nickname for him would be ‘Bye Bye’ or maybe even ‘Cedeno,'” said starting pitcher Rich Hill, who got a no-decision after throwing seven innings and giving up two runs. “But after the ninth inning, I finally see what Dusty has been aware of all this time.”

With his team trailing the Milwaukee Brewers by one run, Boom Boom Bynum led off the ninth inning with a home run. After the North Siders loaded the bases, Henry Blanco finished the game with a two-out RBI single and the Cubs won 3-2.

“Heck no, I wasn’t surprised,” Baker said about “Boom Boom” after the game. “I’ve seen all three of this kid’s home runs in almost 150 at bats. He can really slug the ball when he doesn’t miss it by several feet or forget to swing in the first place.”

Baker added that he had been calling Michael Barrett “Nutsack” weeks before his scrotal injury.

Number of the Day: 3,010,402
People the Cubs have tricked into paying to see “baseball” at Wrigley Field this year.

heckler editorial staff