Lance Armstrong to time-travel and admit doping back when people actually would’ve cared
on Jan 5, 2013
Disgraced cycling legend Lance Armstrong has decided to travel back in time and admit he cheated his way to a record seven Tour de France championships.
“Obviously if I admit to drugs now it doesn’t make much difference,” he said, referring to the fact that he was recently outed as a habitual user of banned substances. “But if I travel back to like, 2007 or something, then an admission would curry me just the kind of public sentiment I’d need to keep my ego — and endorsability — intact.”