Chicago voters affirm ban on sleeves at U.S. Cellular Field

Chicagoans overwhelmingly voted in support of Proposition 44S, a law that formalizes the ban on shirt sleeves at U.S. Cellular Field, home of the White Sox.

According to South Side resident Bob Benowski, the new law will make sure no bandwagon fans show up at the Cell.

“This will make games at the Cell even more jam-packed with sinister-looking fans with tattoos of 80′s metal band names on their guns,” said Benowski, displaying the Anthrax tat on his arm. “Awesome, right? Sleeves are for [expletive deleted] Cubs fans!”