In surprising fashion, Patriots’ coach Bill Belichick blamed his team’s Super Bowl XLVI loss on the gray sweatshirt he wears on the sidelines of most games. Supposedly, the monogrammed sweatshirt with “B.B.” on it was only double-washed from the AFC Championship game as opposed to being triple-washed, which is what Belichick specifically asked for at the team’s hotel laundry room.

“I know you aren’t supposed to have excuses as the losing team in the Super Bowl,” said Belichick at a press conference Monday. “But, at the same time, the only reason we lost today was because of the fact that my lucky sweatshirt wasn’t cleaned to the specific instructions that I asked for. When my sweatshirt is only double-washed, our receivers tend to drop passes which is what happened tonight. When it’s triple-washed like it should be, our offense is perfectly in-sync and no one drops any passes, even Ochocinco. If anyone remembers, I had this same problem in Super Bowl XLII and that’s the only reason Tyree can make that catch. If my sweatshirt is triple-washed, the ball slides right off his helmet onto the field for an incomplete pass.”

Belichick has been known to be superstitious but has never before related the Patriots’ struggles to the level of cleaning his sweatshirt receives. The NFL is conducting an investigation to see if there is any merit to Belichick’s claim of so-called “cleaning fraud” but it is unlikely anything will turn up.

HecklerJosh