Broncos

Fresh-off the success of their No. 1 Chart Topper “Football on Your Phone,” Peyton and Eli Manning have decided to work with one of the greatest influences known throughout the Hip Hop Community, the 1985 Chicago Bears.

After joining the Broncos as the most prized free agent of the off-season, Peyton Manning started the preseason with two mediocre games. He finally put together a solid performance last week against the 49ers, but still isn't convinced he'd burn a first-round fantasy pick on himself this season.

"We agreed if I won, it would be spelled Payton with an A," said a relieved Goodell. "If the kid from Dartmouth won, it would have been Peyton with an E."

Out with the old and in with the new. The Jets acquired Tim Tebow for draft picks Wednesday, but that was not their only big announcement -- Fireman Ed has been relieved of his duties as crowd cheerleader and will be replaced by “Monsignor Joe” next season.

Manning Watch 2012 ended when Peyton Manning signed a five-year, $96 million contract with the Broncos Tuesday. Denver wasn’t initially seen as a likely candidate to sign the veteran QB, as many NFL analysts predicted the veteran QB would instead sign with the Titans or 49ers, but Manning indicated the main factor in his decision-making process was a “sweet, horse-related mascot.”

Josh McDaniels lies hidden behind all the big name players in the signing of Peyton Manning. The ex-Broncos coach still had a point to prove in Denver. Unbeknownst to most Bronco fans, McDaniels became a subtle influence in bringing Manning to the Mile High City.

Jeremy Lin is now the sports world’s most eligible bachelor, as Tim Tebow has shacked up with a mystery woman citing “Linsanity overload” as his inspiration.