Friday, November 27, 2020

Marian Hossa changes name to John Wayne

Taking a page from movie legend John Wayne -- who was born Marion Morrison -- Hawks winger Marian Hossa recently announced he is also changing his name to the more "badass" John Wayne.

Intensity of playoffs leads to Coach Q’s mustache spontaneously combusting

The pressure of the playoffs finally got to Blackhawks coach Joel Quenneville as his infamous mustache spontaneously burst into flames during the first period of Monday's pivotal first-round playoff contest against the Coyotes. Coach Q calmly extinguished the blaze and continued coaching. In less than five minutes the mustache had fully regrown.

Raffi Torres to return to Chicago for WWE Extreme Rules later this month

Newly suspended Phoenix Coyotes winger Raffi Torres is turning to a new outlet to unleash his violent streak. Since being handed a 25-game suspension, Torres was immediately contacted by WWE and offered a guest spot during their “Extreme Rules” event at Allstate Arena, Sunday, April 29. Torres agreed to terms almost immediately.

Shanahan adds 4 games to Shaw suspension after Torres’ hit on Hossa

NHL fans were again shocked by the actions of head disciplinarian Brendan Shanahan after he tacked four games onto Andrew Shaw's controversial three-game suspension for the brutally dirty hit Raffi Torres laid on Marian Hossa Tuesday night.

Coyotes goalie Smith named new professor in Vlade Divac School of Flopping

Vlade Divac has been away from the game for many years now, but he is always looking for talented individuals to teach the art of flopping, which he has mastered. It's no surprise that he was very impressed with Coyotes goalie Mike Smith's performance Saturday night of "man getting shot in back after brushing face into another player," that he has recruited Smith to teach others in Vlade Divac's School of Flopping.

Mike Smith traded to Vancouver where his flopping will fit right in

Impressed by the Coyotes' goaltender's flopping performance Saturday night against Chicago, the Vancouver Canucks acquired Mike Smith from Phoenix in exchange for goaltender Robert Luongo and a conditional draft pick.

Dopey Coyotes fans think they got one point for Saturday’s OT loss

After an intense overtime contest eventually won 4-3 by the Blackhawks Saturday night, a large portion of Coyotes fans didn't grasp the full consequences of Phoenix's loss, thinking regular season rules applied to the postseason.