National Guard deployed to rescue Johnny Manziel from University of Texas frat party
President Obama issued the executive order only after exhaustive peace talks between the fraternity brothers and the Texas A &M stand-out QB broke down at the last possible minute. When pressed by the Associated Press about the strong possibility of a nuclear option, President Obama responded that “All options were on the table.”
Jerry Jones refuses to go without cheerleaders at Super Bowl, hires every stripper in...
As soon as the cheerleader-less Packers and Steelers advanced to Super Bowl XLV, Cowboys owner Jerry Jones immediately went about the task of putting together the largest cheerleader team in history by hiring every stripper in the state of Texas.
In lieu of building better team, Houston erects more hills in outfield
The Astros have hired mini-golf course/laser-tag arena designer Skip Humburger to turn the already-treacherous Minute Maid Park outfield into something that looks even more like a tourist attraction.
Cubs vow to avenge Dempster by bringing him back next year
Even though the Cubs managed to trade Dempster to the Rangers for two minor leaguers, Theo Epstein is said to be miffed by Dempster's stubbornness at nixing the Braves deal and promises to bring him back to the Cubs next season as retribution.
Josh Hamilton now addicted to awful comedy routines after Dempster trade
The Rangers created this debacle by sending Hamilton to the airport to welcome the new Ranger. Following a brief ride back from the airport, Hamilton exited the limousine wearing a Nolan Ryan jersey, spewing line after line about "letting pitchers stay in for 150 pitches" and "giving Robin Ventura a beat down."
