Monday, June 17, 2024

Petrino comes clean, says he was trying to shake unwanted rider off his bike

"I did not ride a motorcycle with that woman--Jessica Dorrell," Petrino said as he pointed a finger at the television cameras. "I was riding along and she appeared on my back seat. I did my best to shake her off and the bike got away from me."

Petrino fired for being a terrible motorcycle rider

"This is the South," said a clearly shaken Long. "We expect our leaders to be able to do certain things, and handling a motorcycle with someone who's not your wife on the back is certainly one of them. I get sick to my stomach every time I read an article that says Coach Petrino 'laid down his motorcycle' after he lost control. What the hell is that?"

Arkansas falls to second in Division II rankings

After a devastating loss to the University of Louisiana-Monroe Saturday, the Arkansas Razorbacks took an unprecedented tumble in the national rankings. The light of a new day showed that the team, ranked eighth just days earlier, had fallen completely out of the Bowl Championship Series. They had landed in the sports twilight zone once known as "Division II.”

Bielema headed to Arkansas because their colors match his wardrobe

"Well, thankfully they're the same colors, I don't have to waste time shopping. Ain't nobody got time for that," said Bielema. "It's an SEC school, so who cares if they've become even more of a joke while I'm there? I'd rather be a loser in the SEC than a winner by default in the Big Ten."