Chicago

The Citgo Petroleum power play is the most ridiculous term in all of sports. In your dreams you hit the game winning grand slam, throw the game winning touchdown, score the winning basket and...

“Sure, higher ticket prices were a good start, but I really want the Cubbies to make a financial killing,” he said. “Good organizations have a common goal from the top down, so I think we’re finally on the same page: let’s milk this cash cow. I’m willing to do my part if you are.”

More than five years of attempts to preserve the endangered Nomar Garciaparra Cubs jersey have come up short, it was learned early Sunday. The last known Garciaparra No. 5 met its end when its caretaker, 31-year-old Phil Hurley of Des Plaines had much of his wardrobe set aflame by his ex-girlfriend during an epic fight that subsequently ended the couple’s relationship.

Ruining an otherwise strong NCAA bracket was Mark Higgins' improbable choice of “Fritos” to defeat Syracuse and North Carolina on its march to the Sweet Sixteen.

Once again, Cubs ownership has its eye on the prize as the team heads into the season. Illustration by Rick Atkinson.

To help celebrate the Bulls' top spot in the East we just release more of our super-cheap $40 tickets to the United Center for April 5's game against the Suns and awesome The Fifty/50 pre-party. The deal expires today so you have to click here to purchase ASAP.

Introducing the very first Heckler Fill-In-The-Blanks Article. It's your chance to "write" an article that will be published on our prestigious website...