Bulls sign Hinrich to let fans know they’ve given up all hope for next...
"Yes, we let Kirk go a few seasons ago because we felt he was past his prime and no longer an effective guard at the NBA level," said GM Gar Forman. "And that's exactly why we've re-signed him now."
Stylists unsure what to call that thing on Matt Garza’s chin
“It’s not a goatee, it’s not a soul patch, it’s not a beard, it’s not stubble, it’s ... it’s just a clump of mess, honey,” exclaimed Zoltar Tokken, a stylist at a Lakeview salon.
Rizzo to replace LaHair in All-Star game at request of Cubs management
“We have a lot riding on Rizzo,” said Sveum. “The more comfortable he gets at the plate, especially in a pressure cooker situation like the All-Star game, the better off he is.”
Local man’s confidence restored thanks to mustache transplant from Joel Quenneville
"Before the transplant I was always doubting myself and being kind of a wuss," said Benson. "But now that I have this thick, lustrous mustache, I can do anything! It's only been on my face two days, and I've already demanded a promotion and had sex with the hottest woman in the office."
Cubs proudly name prospect Brett Jackson 2013 ‘Savior of the year’
Every June or July, when the Cubs are mathematically eliminated from post-season baseball, the general manager chooses a player who they will promote the following season to save the team and ultimately lead the Cubs to a World Series title.
Sox marketing dept chastised over #ScrewYu addition to #TakeJake Twitter promo
In a move described as “bush league” across social media outlets, several White Sox staffers began including a #ScrewYu hashtag, unaware they were simply infuriating millions of Japanese voters and inspiring them to vote for Darvish.
Wrigley Field hot dog contains practically no trace of rat feces
If you've had a hot dog at Wrigley Field this season, you may be thinking something tasted different than years past. And you'd be right: no more rat feces!
