Every June or July, when the Cubs are mathematically eliminated from post-season baseball, the general manager chooses a player who they will promote the following season to save the team and ultimately lead the Cubs to a World Series title. This year, the Cubs proudly chose outfielder Brett Jackson as the 2013 “Savior of the year.”

Past winners include: Corey Patterson, Hee-Seop Choi, Matt Murton, Kerry Wood, Felix Pie, Geovany Soto and 2012 title-holder Anthony Rizzo

The award includes weekly fluff columns by Chicago Tribune Cubs writer Phil Rogers, welcome signs from many of the area’s bars and a harem of women handpicked by WGN cameramen to the prospect’s liking.

Cubs GM Jed Hoyer is excited about his decisio.

“Brett Jackson is already creating buzz in the minors, so it’s time to inflate him to a godlike status,” Said Hoyer. “Plus, we already have the returns on the Ryan Dempster and Matt Garza trades slated for 2014 and 2015. Players move fast when there is no hope.”

Brew Dreesus