Joakim Noah demands trade to Nuggets after learning Colorado likely to legalize pot
"Are you kidding me?" he asked between puffs. "Chicago is nice and all, but Colorado sounds like my kind of party. I mean, city. I mean, are you going to eat those Funyuns?"
Nation can’t wait to vote NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman out of office on Tuesday
"No single issue cuts across all demographic lines like firing Gary Bettman," said poll watcher Nate Silver of the New York Times.
Soriano stunned to learn there are two years remaining on his contract
"With free agency starting, I called my agent to see how the market for me was shaping up," a shocked Soriano told reporters. "I couldn't believe it when he told me I still had two years left. I mean, are you kidding me? Why in the world would they have given me an eight year contract?"
Bears promote starting defense to first team offense
"This is exactly what we want to do," said Bears head coach Lovie Smith. "Have you seen what our offense is capable of? False starts and dropped passes if we are lucky."
Chicago Bears Bingo — Week 9 (Tennessee Titans)
Play along as the Bears visit the Titans in Nashville in a game that will decide once and for all if Jay Cutler is a big-time quarterback. Probably.
Jake Peavy’s right index finger detaches during contract signing
"It's just something I'll have to work through. To tell you the truth, it's not the only thing that's detached over the last few years," he said, referring to an ear and several toes that were found on the locker room floor.
Wennington arrested for throwing pumpkin pie in trick-or-treater’s eye
“Everyone knows how hyped up I get for the Bulls, food and especially pumpkin pie,” said Wennington. “I’ll just try to use that expression more metaphorically in the future.”
