Chicago

After Thursday's loss to the Brewers, several Cubs players and team president Theo Epstein took the popular "Ice Bucket Challenge," dumping cold water over their heads to raise money and awareness for the ALS Foundation. Unfortunately, a few of the players are now suffering from hypothermia and may miss the rest of the season.

Embroiled in a controversy over allegations of sexism, the Blackhawks today announced they will be adding male skaters to their scantily clad Ice Crew, previously made up of only young women.

“As the statistics currently show, Baez is on pace to never draw a base-on-balls in his MLB career,” said James. “However, when you look at number of pitches seen per at bat vs. those that he swings and misses at vs. those he takes, my projection is that his first walk will occur on June 15, 2018.”

The Law Offices of Peter Francis Geraci, bankruptcy and injury attorneys, is the first company to buy a sponsorship, which includes the firm’s logo, website address and phone number under the words “Replay Review.”

"While we appreciate Mr. Baez's enthusiasm for our league, it is a violation of our trademark to recreate it in any way without the express, written consent of Major League Baseball," said MLB General Counsel Robert Paschke. "Unfortunately, this gives us no choice but to take legal action."

Fearful of any possible backlash of boorish booing from the local cheeseheads, Favre's special night will be held where he had so many special nights, Soldier Field.

"This is not a responsibility I take lightly," Baez told reporters. "I know that when Mark Prior and Corey Patterson got this call, they felt the same pressure that I do now to elevate this team to the next level and hopefully give Chicago fans everywhere a championship."