After filming two commercials playing up the Sox-Cubs rivalry, McDonald’s abruptly announced that it would release A.J. Pierzynski from his promotional contract with the corporation.

McDonald’s marketing director Ben Johnstone said the move was prompted by Pierzynski’s conduct while filming a humorous breakfast food ad, in which the Sox catcher is the target of a prank by Carlos Zambrano. The Cubs ace places shaving cream in Pierzynski’s hand and tickles his nose with a feather as Pierzynski feigns sleep. As a result, Pierzynski smears the foam all over his face when he “wakes up.”

Unfortunately, things went horribly wrong after that.

“Well, A.J. paused for a second once the scene was over,” Johnstone said. “But then he sprung up from the bed enraged, smashing cameras and roughing up members of the production crew and while yell, ‘Nobody does this to me! I’m A.J. Pierzynski!'”

“I just don’t understand it,” Johnstone added. “We explained the premise of the commercial to him three times.”

For his part, Zambrano got out of the studio as fast as he could.

“I’m not a coward or anything,” he said. “But I am a pitcher for the Cubs. I don’t want to tempt fate.”

heckler editorial staff