NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell held in press conference in New York on Friday, September 19th, 2014 to address the league's domestic violence issues.

After a couple weeks of controversy surrounding coaches not wearing masks on the sidelines, NFL officials on Tuesday sent all teams a large shipment of face coverings to last the entire season. In addition, each package contained 10 spare ACLs to be used to repair the bevy of knee injuries already sustained by players on the young season, including stars like Saquon Barkley and Nick Bosa.

“Our number one goal is to protect our players, no matter the circumstances,” said NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. “With shortened training camps and no preseason games for players to get their bodies accustomed to making sharp cuts and receiving hard hits, the least we can do as a league is provide our teams with some extra body parts in case of minor injury.”

Retired Chicago Bears’ offensive lineman Kyle Long wished the league would have instituted its Spare Body Parts Program during his playing days, which ended in 2019.

“Man, I could’ve played in at least five games every year if the NFL had put this program in place a few years ago,” said Long. “All they would’ve needed to do was send me a spare shoulder, triceps muscle, meniscus, new foot and few other body parts, and I’d have been as good as new. Hell, I would’ve taken a labrum from a Golden Retriever if they had one laying around.”

Jeremy Barewin