Reminding fans and media that she is “owner for life,” 97-year-old Virginia Halas McCaskey, principal owner of the Chicago Bears, will take over the team’s 2020 draft.

“What in the name of Bronko Nagurski has Pace has done with our drafts,” the Bears’ matriarch said during a press conference at Halas Hall.

“He drafted a guy from Ashland University,” referring to 2017 second-round pick Adam Shaheen. “Heck, the way he’s played you’d think he came from Ashland Avenue.”

McCaskey hasn’t been pleased with the play of Mitchell Trubisky. “We traded up to get that guy,” she said. “Had I not been in bed at the time we made the pick, I would have put a stop to it”

“I know this stuff cold,” referring to her draft prowess. “In 1939, it was I who suggested to dad (founder George Halas) that we take Sid,” referring to quarterback Sid Luckman, who led the Bears to four NFL titles.

“Papa wanted to draft some tackle from DePaul or Marquette. He thought Sid would want about 25 bucks a game, but, because I sweet-talked him, Luckman signed for $18 per game.”

Mrs. McCaskey addressed rumors that her son, Michael, would return from his home on the Island of Elba to play a role with the team.

“Naw,” said McCaskey. “He’s happy reading Nietzsche books and painting pictures of Corsican seagulls.”

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