The Tampa Bay Buccaneers desperately wanted to trade for Rob Gronkowski and were willing to throw in even some of their most valuable assets. 

“No one wanted to give up what we did,” said Bucs GM Jason Licht. “But at the end of the day we wanted Gronk and sometimes good things come at a price.”

“I’ve been using old underwear and rags for weeks now,” New England Patriots’ coach Bill Belichick said. “To be honest, I could give a shit about the fourth-round pick. I needed some fucking toilet paper. I have always liked Rob, but to tell you the truth he wasn’t wiping my ass and I needed something that would.”

Gronkowski reportedly was thrilled to have been traded for such valuable commodities.