With “The Last Dance” set to debut this weekend, horrible person Michael Jordan is reportedly concerned the documentary will make him look like a horrible person.

“Sure, I used to be verbally and physically abusive to teammates, cheated on my wife and have almost always refused to take a stance in even the most basic political and societal issues, but you never want to look like a horrible person if you can help it,” said Jordan. “Especially if you are in fact a horrible person with everything to lose like me.”