Growing tired of not making enough money, the Chicago Cubs will look to the likes of Netflix and Hulu for inspiration, and offer subscription-based pricing for alcohol at Wrigley Field.

The Cubs will offer three subscription options: 1 month/$99.99, 3 months/$249.99, or the entire season for $399.99.

“We know that being publically intoxicated at Wrigley is an integral part of any Cubs fan’s game day experience,” said Cubs owner, Tom Ricketts. “With these new subscription pricing options, we feel that we are giving fans more economically savvy options to both push their livers to their physical capabilities, and save money while doing so.”

“As an added bonus,” Ricketts continued, “the drunker you get, the easier it is to forget how much money we’re paying Jason Heyward and Tyler Chatwood.”

Shingo TaCatsu