The Bears today signed three free agents to their roster kicker Chris Blewett, outside linebacker Freddie Canttackle and guard Herman Dontblock.

“Adding depth at all positions is key,” said Bears GM Ryan Pace, a closet Abbott & Costello fan. “We also looked at signing quarterbacks Mark Cantthrow, Chuck Snapdropper and kicker Darrell Doink, but ultimately decided on Blewett, Canttackle and Dontblock.”

Some of these names were contributed on Facebook by Damon B. and Anthony W.