Cubs reliever Travis Wood is in stable condition at a local hospital after being impaled by the World Series trophy following Friday’s championship rally.

Having gone shirtless for most of the event, Wood eventually walked into the trophy while teammate Dexter Fowler was holding it on his hip for a photo. Six of the trophy’s 30 gold-plated flags pierced Wood in the lower abdomen.

“Man, those things are sharp,” said Wood from his hospital bed, while washing down a pain pill with a room temperature Busch Light.

Unfortunately, the impalement wasn’t Wood’s only injury. He also suffered second-degree sunburn.

“I guess I wasn’t thinking about the sun because it’s early November,” said Wood. “And I also wasn’t thinking because I’ve been drunk for two days straight.”