Cubs skipper Joe Maddon’s clubhouse antics this season have ranged from magician performances to the team regularly dressing up in footy pajamas. But, what no one realized is what he did to evade the typical Cubby occurrences that have plagued the team in the past.

“It’s really simple,” said Maddon. “Back in Spring Training [Pitching Coach Chris] Bosio distracted the guys with Dippin’ Dots while I brought in a hypnotist to do his thing. Suffice to say, we successfully blocked out any thoughts of goats, black cats or guys named Bartman.”

While the mind trick certainly kept the team focused, the effect was pre-maturely scheduled to wear off in November. Team members now find themselves waking up in a very unfamiliar situation.

“The last thing I remember is going out for a haircut and then I find myself at Progressive Field in Cleveland,” admitted John Lackey. “Hey, it’s great to be back in the World Series! I just remember uttering to myself, ‘I know I didn’t come here for a haircut.’”

Heckler Brian