A day removed from the Giants’ NLDS elimination, San Francisco right fielder Hunter Pence has already transitioned to his full-time job as a creepy clown.
“This baseball thing is just to a hobby,” said Pence. “My real passion is dressing like a crazy clown and scaring the living bejesus out of random strangers in dark alleys, parking garages, cemeteries and abandoned churches.”
To prepare for his terrifying work, Pence simply dyes his poofy hair and scraggly beard bright red, grabs a freshly sharpened axe, and hits the road.
Pence said he was “somewhat relieved” his team’s baseball season ended last night so he could get on with his clown gig.
“I’ve been seeing all these headlines about creepy clown sightings around the country and I really felt like I was missing out,” said Pence. “It’ll be good to get back out there and show all these amateur creepy clowns what a pro like Hunty the Clown stops by an orphanage at 3 a.m during a thunderstorm.”