The Cubs announced yesterday their ongoing renovations would be delayed until at least June, citing construction delays caused by cold winter weather, which no one with the team anticipated.

“It gets cold in Chicago? Seriously?” Cubs VP of Ballpark Operations Carl Rice. “Hmm. We had no clue.”

Added Rice: “I guess we’ll be playing the first three months of the season with a giant black hole where the bleachers should be. My bad.”

hecklerstaff