Rob Gronkowski may be notorious for frequenting bars and clubs until the wee hours of the morning, but the star New England Patriots tight end has been all about business in the days leading up to Super Bowl XLIX.
“He’s only broken curfew twice,” said head coach Bill Belichick. “And both times he made it back to the hotel before sunrise, which is pretty unusual for him. Sure, he showed up wearing nothing but a pink tube top and argyle socks, but other than that, it’s clear he wants to be a champion.”
Gronkowski, better known as Gronk to teammates and fans alike, admitted the conservative curfew has been both a burden and a blessing.
“I don’t even think I’ve had sex with more than 10 women in the last two weeks,” he said. “So obviously it’s tough. But, you know, not waking up after lunch is pretty cool. I almost made it to practice the other day, so yeah, I’m all about doing whatever it takes.”
Other ways Gronk has toned it down for the Super Bowl include not drinking a bottle of tequila with dinner, ignoring Tinder after midnight and cutting down trips to Taco Bell to two per evening.