The Bears today announced the hiring Ryan Pace as their new GM. At 37, Pace is younger than all the great-grandchildren of Bears’ owner Virginia McCaskey.
The Bears expect this new infusion of youth to spice things up around Halas Hall.
“Now that we have this whippersnapper on board, things are going to chance,” said the 127-year-old McCaskey. “He’s going to get rid of all the prune juice in the locker room and make sure all the TVs aren’t just on “Matlock” reruns anymore.”