After a spirited first effort by Jimmy Clausen resulted in a concussion diagnosis that will keep him out of the Bears’ season finale, the 27-year-old backup quarterback expressed disappointment with his injury, but optimism regarding his future in the league and with the organization in a long, 3 hour and 15-minute press conference where he told reporters, “Pickle stole washbasket.”

When asked to clarify these remarks, he was contemplative.

“Listen, spaghetti trip might trap the bad grass, but no sauce knows what the pickle’s done, you know?” Clausen added.

When asked if he was trying to say that he “gave it his all out there” and that he “only wishes he could have come away with the W” he nodded vigorously, winced briefly, and added, “Yes, definitely, all the marmalade.”

When asked how this will affect the team’s offseason preparation, Bears coach Marc Trestman, who aides say suffered a severe head injury roughly five weeks into the season himself, said, “Well, I think Jimmy really wore his heart on his sleeve out there, and yellow packets bridge fall.”

Jeff GoodSmith