Following a string of poor performances by “franchise” quarterback Jay Cutler, the Bears have made the decision to start Jimmy Clausen on Sunday. Surprisingly, Cutler seemed rather upbeat after the demotion.

“Coach Trestman and I had a heart-to-heart talk after the decision. I never thought of it but the more we talked the more I liked the idea of the CFL,” said Cutler. “We all know this NFL thing isn’t working out so why not start exploring my options? Coach said he would talk to his people about hooking me up. He advised me to start learning French, but this is Canada, I told him.”

Trestman confirmed the details of the dialogue with the media.

“Yes, we spoke and it was a productive chat,” he said. “The Canadian game would be better for Jay’s unique skills. Jay liked the idea of three downs in the CFL. He said that was less of an opportunity to get sacked or have a pick-six. You have to admit he’s right. I mean hell if I could win there why couldn’t he? I could see multiple Grey Cups in his future. Of course I could also see millions of pissed off canucks.”

Cutler was quick to add, “I’m excited! You tell me I can’t be the quarterback for Quebec?”