Following a horrendous 55-14 loss on national television to the rival Green Bay Packers, City of Chicago officials have demanded the Bears formally remove “Chicago” from their team name.
“Even our education system and rampant crime have become less embarrassing than being associated with this football team,” a city official told Bears Chairman George McCaskey. “And don’t think about calling yourselves the Illinois Bears or the Windy City Bears, either. Until you can keep an offense under 50, we better not see that C logo anywhere on your helmets.”
Chicago mayor Rahm Emanuel was reportedly so upset with the team’s last two games, in which they gave up more than 100 points, he has revoked Marc Trestman’s work visa, meaning the coach will have to go back to Canada, where he last worked as head coach of the CFL’s Montreal Alouettes.