After setting a franchise record by allowing 38 points in the first half against the New England Patriots and surpassing that record in last night’s 55-14 loss to the Green Bay Packers, the Chicago Bears organization has promised that they will once again set a new mark for first half points yielded when they play the Minnesota Vikings next Sunday.

Bears GM Phil Emery stopped short of promising that the Bears’ defense can somehow find a way to give up more than 42 points against a Vikings team that lacks the potent offensive weapons of Green Bay or New England, telling members of the press, “Listen, I know that it’ll be hard to find a way to surrender 43 or more points in the first half to a somewhat lackluster Vikings squad. But, I’ve been around the league a long time, and I’ve never seen a team so talented at giving up opposing touchdowns. I think we’re witnessing something historic here, and if there’s any team that can find a way to let the Vikings score more in the first half of the game than they’ve scored in any full game all season, it’s this 2014 Bears lineup.”

In a press conference, Bears QB Jay Cutler echoed this sentiment.

“Listen, obviously this is a team effort,” said Cutler. “We can’t count on the defense to just give up 43, 44, 45 points without a little help from the other side of the ball. So I’ll make sure to fumble during sacks, throw long passes to Brandon Marshall while he’s triple-covered, and do whatever I can to make sure that the defense has as many opportunities to fail as possible. I think we’re really in the middle of something special this year, and I believe in our ability to give up touchdowns.”

Jeff GoodSmith