Claiming the league’s new domestic violence policies are working, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell announced that a record 48 straight hours have elapsed since a player was arrested for injuring a spouse or girlfriend.

“We’re pleased the new policy is indeed working,” Goodell said in an NFL press release, which also revealed there are residual benefits to the league handing down the new guidelines.

“In fact, there hasn’t been one report of a drunken player running over a pedestrian in his SUV for at least a week,” the commissioner said.