In a highly anticipated press conference, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell shocked the media by announcing he has agreed to appear in a series of Geico commercials.
Goodell took to the podium and sternly said, “Let me be clear here. I never saw any additional video of Ray Rice inside that elevator.”
“How was that? I’ve been working on rehearsing my lines. This press conference is great practice. Can we run it again from the top?”
Geico spokesman Frank Watson stated, “We’re thrilled to have Commissioner Goodell. We’ve been interested in the commissioner since we saw him in Draft Day. He’s so good even I almost believe he never saw that additional tape. He also told me he had never seen a Geico commercial previously. He’s a natural. With him, we don’t need Pinocchio anymore. Did you know that NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell is in trouble of losing his job? Everyone knows that.”
“I’m excited about these commercials,” said Goodell. “Hey, I’m gonna need a new job soon. Listen to this. 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on your car insurance. This is gonna be huge for me. Who needs the NFL?”